Hey, itās Erica again from Patreonās content team. Iād love your input for a story Iām currently planning.
As a writer, one of the things Iāve experienced is ācreator imposter syndromeā and Iām wondering if any of you can relate?
Have you ever felt timid about the value of your creator career? Or, like you need āpermissionā to make money from something that isnāt a typical 9 to 5?
Weād love to hear your stories on how you deal with those feelings when they arise, what advice youād offer to other creators who experience similar feelings, and how you combat these feelings when they arise so you can get back to creating?
Full disclosure: we would like to use some of the answers we receive from this discussion for a blog post, so please let us know if youād be willing to be mentioned in the post, or if youād be willing to talk directly with one of our writers!
I think imposter syndrome is really common - and it doesnāt really go away once you reach level ā1ā of success because that ladder is never-ending.
The most helpful thing Iāve found personally is to look at how Iām framing things. When my primary creative goal is to make art that sells or means something to someone else, thatās a perspective fraught with anxiety. I canāt control other peopleās wallets or their opinions. When my primary creative goal is to create art that means something to me - that does a lot to help reduce feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. It pulls large and small decisions into a better space.
Itās something I have to consciously reach for - because the natural pull of much of my business efforts are to trend toward the āother peopleās tastes and interestsā priority (What will other people value? How can I better reach my target audience?) Itās important to consider those questions and perspectives, but if that goal supersedes my own creative interests, then I usually end up feeling fairly crummy and inadequate. So itās a process - every so often I pull back and express gratitude for what I get to do (Fall down the research rabbit hole! Wahoo! Spend hours drawing cartoons! Yay!) and how they bring me joy, and then I take a moment to ask if I like what Iāve made, and if I do, then thatās good enough.
Iād be glad to talk with one of your writers and/or be mentioned.
I have. Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to support me because I feel like Iām pretty boring, both in how I look (relevant because Iām basically a model as part of my being a creator) and in my personality. I feel like Iām nothing like these talented artists, musicians, programmers and the like that I see really succeeding on Patreon. Iām just a women who takes artsy photos of herself nude and in pretty lingerie and who tries to amuse her Patrons with totally random vlogs and the like.
I also feel like there are a lot of āgirlsā who do what I do. And most of them arenāt getting paid to do it unless theyāre otherwise famous or they have some other talent. I donāt. I donāt sing, Iām not a gamer, Iām not an actress, I donāt draw or paint or make awesome cosplays. I kind of tried to do ASMR, but that didnāt work out either.
Then somebody left a comment on one of my videos on YouTube, something to the effect of āEvery video from you is like a little vacation.ā I almost cried. That is exactly what I want my posts, videos, Patreon community, etc to be! I want it to be an escape from stress. I felt such a renewed sense of purpose just from knowing at least one person got what I was hoping from my creativity.
I still feel like Iām boring, but now Iām kind of owning it. And maybe boring is the wrong word, but hopefully the meaning is understood. Maybe having a place where people can just enjoy simple, consistent photos combined with conversational videos of me talking about random stuff is valuable. I mean, here I am pledging to a bunch of ASMR creators because it helps with my own stress. Maybe this is just another form if the same thing? Thatās what Iām going with, anyway.
Have you heard Jim Carrey talk about finding his purpose? Iāll see if I can find a link, so worth a watch!
Regarding imposter syndrome, omg yes basically every day of my life. Every song I write feels like the last one I ever will. Every patron leaving (a normal thing) make me feel like itās the beginning of the end, everyone is catching onto me and soon theyāll all leave too. Every day that I donāt manage to get my shit together enough to move forward in my life (yay depression) is another bit of āproofā that Iām not a real creator and I donāt deserve to be loved/supported/paid/inseetc mean thoughts here
So yeah, I know what it feels like to feel like an imposter
I started creating mostly as a hobby. It started with writing, moved to art- and eventually mashed together into comics. I enjoy making comics. Itās fun and Iāve learned a lot over the years. That said: Iām not an expert artist. My art, while I donāt consider it bad, is not amazing. I have anatomy issues, my writing is okay at best, perspective gives me nightmares, and half the time I stress over the fact that I donāt think my work is worth getting paid for. People tell me it is. I do get paid for it through my amazing patrons. Yetā¦ there are still days where I wonder āDo people not realize how sloppy this is? Donāt they see all the flaws in the story and its pacing?ā
And yet- these people- not just the patrons- tell me how good I am. They say how much they love my work and the characters that are telling the story. And I realize: It doesnāt matter if I think my work isnāt worth paying for. It matters that I do it because I enjoy it. Because at the end of the day, the average audience member doesnāt know the doās and dontās of the creative process. As a creator, you will always challenge your own work. We are always focused on the flaws and mistakes we make- even the little ones. Itās a habit we form because we must in order to improve our work. Most people wonāt notice that slightly off anatomy. Most wonāt even look for the flaws: They will see the effort and work put into your work and enjoy it for what it is.
And those people who are paying you to do what you enjoy? Theyāre supporting you because they genuinely enjoy what you do and want to see you succeed. Even the people who cannot afford to pledge continually contribute in their own way by boosting morale and giving you that little feeling of āYes, my work is worth it!ā Every comment I read on each page reminds me that despite everything I think of my work, there are people who truly enjoy what I put out, and while Iām not making the next great series, my work is just as valid as any other.
Being a creator of any form is a long journey. There are ups and downs, twists and turns. There are days where you will collapse exhausted both physically and mentally. There are days where the wind is at your back pushing you forward with great motivation and inspiration. Sure, itās not a journey to change the world for many of us- but we can change ourselves and those we touch. Itās easy to feel like imposter when people are paying you for your silly little -enter creation here- but itās their way of saying that they appreciate you and what you do- flaws and all- because they see potential and greatness in you that you yourself cannot see.
Hey Nate! Love that you mentioned that even people who weād all likely agree are successful still deal with imposter syndrome. Would love to chat with you about this more if youāre available! Iāll reach out.
Thank you for sharing this, I genuinely needed to hear this today. I rarely think about how imposter syndrome can be beneficial part of the creative process but you explained it perfectly. Would definitely love to chat more! Iāll be reaching out.
I would enjoy speaking with one of your writers or being mentioned on the blog.
I have not yet felt an imposter syndrome sentiment, but I feel there may be some reasons for that.
I write content for Mouse Guard role-play game; it is content intended for game masters to easily print and bring to a game session. Although I only embarked on Patreon within the past year, I had already gained a reputation in social platforms of the Mouse Guard gaming community for providing advise, custom content (such as custom missions), and direct consults (such as revisions for someone elseās custom mission). Having gained the sense of reputation from the social platforms, I felt a natural bridge toward making content and expecting compensation.
My audience is somewhat small and niche. Also, Iāve been cautious not to overload my Patreon page with too much content at once. I feel these two factors help me feel less of an imposter. Iām not writing for everyone, though I do wish the audience were more engaged and larger. Yet, I feel itās going to grow this year. Also, I take time for careful editing and self-revision to ensure the content is good. I feel Iāve got killer taste for Mouse Guard game content and ficiton, but it will take time to really translate that into the best possible content. Iām confident in the content I currently write, and Iām certain it will get better over time.
Having a reputation, doing self-revision, and having a niche audience I feel contribute to the confidence I have that Prevail will continue to grow and will fit my available schedule for writing. I get a sense of accomplishment each time I schedule a new post with game content. Thatās a rewarding moment.
In contrast, Iād like to grow my audience, and I know I ought to have started years ago when the Mouse Guard community had a stronger following. I could have leveraged the reputation better, and gained more collaborative credentials working with others who were active in the community years ago, who have been less active or inactive in recent months/years.
OMG! Iām in there!!! Thank you so much for including my thoughts on this. I think this is a powerful article and Iāll be sharing it with my creator friends.
Iām just now reading this but this was really humbling to read and see how rampant this is throughout the creative community. Iāve been dealing with this HARD all year.
welcome to the forum, @Christa_P, and thank you for bringing this thread back up! thereās never a bad time to know youāre not alone in feeling like an imposter <3
I think this is a powerful article and Iāll be sharing it with my creator friends.
